What can we do?

My studio is my refuge. Light pours in through second story double windows. Beyond is a wooded neighborhood and nearby a large shade tree.

My husband has his own refuge, his man cave, a woodworking shop in one half of our garage. Surrounded by saws, sanders, and assorted tools, he disappears for hours everyday to make birdhouses or repair furniture.

We text each other as if we were in separate buildings, away at work. We meet for happy hour on the deck and share dinner. Occasionally we eat lunch at the same time. He makes coffee for us in the morning and pancakes for Saturday breakfast. We start each day together and finish together.

For landscaping chores, we team up, as we did this last week in the fence row. A vigorous privet hedge and young mulberry trees had invaded a working path separating our neighbor’s yard from ours. With gloves, boots, water bottles, lawn chairs, chain saw, loppers, lawn tractor and trailer—we went armed into the overgrown brush. For three mornings I sawed, he cut, we pulled and pushed and hauled away. Although we rested often in our lawn chairs, we cleared a 50 by 4 foot swath.

A friend says to me, “We have everything we need, food, shelter, each other, and lots of space.” It’s a reminder not to take simplicity for granted, not to complain, not to desire unnecessarily.

Yesterday a young friend said, “I love my husband dearly, and since we have been isolated together, I have realized I truly like him!” Together they’ve fashioned a nursery for their soon-to-be-born son, something she says they would not have normally done together.

I could be writing about the horrors of the pandemic, or of social justice, or anarchy, or cultural wars, or politics and religion. But I wouldn’t do a good job. I’m not an authority on those subjects, although I try to be reasonably informed.

There was a time when I marched for social justice and fair government. I wrote letters, called my representatives, sat on boards, worked on community service projects, advocated for children and the homeless. I still believe in those activities.

We are, however, realistic. We have little time left. The pandemic has squeezed time for us, given us boundaries within which we must shelter together. We cannot visit with our children. We cannot travel. We cannot… well, we cannot and cannot. So what can we do?

I can paint. Recently I’ve been painting scenes from Cape Cod. I spent hours looking at photos, searching for ideas.

Here’s a common trope I painted, just for fun. I can’t exhibit it because it’s a copy of a well known photograph.

My Virtual Beach Plein Air Painting

Normally between April and October Herb donates his birdhouses to fundraiser auctions held by nonprofit organizations. Because those auctions haven’t been held, he has accumulated some fifty birdhouses ready for when community life resumes or when an alternative to live auctions is conceived.

Gretchen’s Choice

In the meantime birds in our yard enjoy palatial homes.

We can complicate our life with frustration over cancellations and restrictions or we can use what we have. We have chosen possibility not disability, courage not discouragement. Sometimes, he shouts. Sometimes I weep. Some days we collapse. But mostly we carry forth accepting our place in time and acting on faith.

Excerpted From Joshua 1:1-9

I won’t give up on you; I won’t leave you…Don’t get off track, either left or right, so as to make sure you get where you’re going.

Surely how we use our bodies and minds will encourage others to live with courage and faith. Believe. We are not alone.

Keep Going

We have a lot to say. And nothing to say.

A pandemic has interrupted our usual topics, scattering them asunder. If we talk about our family members on the health front line, we sound anxious and spread worry. If we admit to each other we are afraid, we imagine we are selfish, since we have more security than most people. If we rail against the inequities in society, we flail at windmills.

We don’t want to upset each other. We want to shore each other up.

Like the time…

When we were driving through a thick fog. Keep going, I’ll watch the line along the shoulder for you.

Or

When we drove accidentally into swirling winds later reported at 70 mph. Keep going, I’ll watch for flying objects.

Or

When we hiked up a steep mountain from Lake Louisa in Alberta. Keep going. We can do it. I will rest with you.

Or

When I got lost in the Rockies on a solo hike. Keep going. We will talk you out. I’m waiting for you.

Or

When we faced open heart surgery. Keep going. We are waiting for you. I’m here for you.

And then suddenly we lose it. From no where comes a “I-cant-stand-it-moment!” The go into the closet and scream moment, the throw a magazine moment, or worse, a flying tool incident.

Followed by laughter. The get a grip aftermath. The what’s wrong with us? reflection.

There was a time when we hungered for a vacation in fresh surroundings where we would rise and plan a good day together. We’ve done that: in Spain, in Italy, in Mexico, Alaska, at the beach, in the mountains. Now, here we are with the rise and plan a good day together circumstances in familiar territory, our own home sweet home.

We entertain each other with silliness. Herb pretends to fish in the pond. He brings me an oversized doll with whom I have coffee and conversation. We play what did we accomplish today games. We send silly ideas to our bored grandchildren. We parody our fears. We talk about nothing, the color of a bird, the shape of clouds, the weeds in the asphalt cracks, the strength of the ice tea.

We sort photos, purge stuff, learn to groom the dog, write on our never to be published books. I work on a painting. He builds birdhouses. We dig holes and plant vegetables and shrubs. We buy and plant a tree.

We cry. Our eyes suddenly fill with tears. Unbidden. Triggered by a voice, a story, an image. Normally, we do not cry. We voice.

We have rules. Masks. Hand Sanitizer. Six feet apart or more. Social Isolation prevention. We need them, are committed to the cause, but we don’t like them. We don’t like not seeing the faces of people, not embracing them, not touching.

We pray. For everyone, everything. The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want…This we can do, over and over and over while we wait and do what we can. We are not alone.

It’s all so ordinary, and yet not.

Dolly Scarecrow stops for morning coffee.

Mooch the Mouse

The sun was dropping to the horizon, the sky lavender with whispers of coral pink. The day had bloomed. A friend had arrived with her camera to shoot blooms and bees. A neighbor had walked to the backyard to chat about our greenhouse. He wanted to build one too. Our yard man mowed.

The bounce of basketballs and children’s laughter filtered through the neighborhood. The aroma of grilled chicken wafted across our yards. A mockingbird sang its evensong.

A prayer welled up in me.

Tomorrow will be Easter— Again. It’s the again that supplies us. Again and again. Hallelujah.

And then suddenly a mouse darted out from the house, skittering by my feet, escaping down the steps and into the hollies.

What!? Another mouse!

Three weeks ago, when we discovered evidence of mice in our pantry closet, we set a trap slathered in peanut butter. When the trap caught a fat mouse, we decided to clean out the pantry! And then the laundry room. And the back hallway. And a closet off the hallway.

As we removed roasting pans, shoes, buckets, baseball caps, coats and more, we discovered dry dog food—in pans, shoes, and hats. At first I was amused. But as we kept sweeping up dry bits of Purina’s Pro Plan, I became alarmed.

A tiny hole along the hot water pipe for the washer was the probable entry. Poking fine steel wool into the hole with a pencil, I said, “That should do it!”

Having purged closets, we thought, let’s clean out drawers and the file cabinet. In the end, I used our dolly to wheel the old cumbersome filing cabinet out to the road where it disappeared within an hour. Focused entirely on getting the dolly under the cabinet and wheeling it out the back door and down steps, I hadn’t noticed what was behind the cabinet, not until later when I went to clean the floor and wall.

Where the filing cabinet had been, three pounds of dry dog food had cascaded onto the floor. The file cabinet had acted like a wall for a cache behind adjacent drawer units. Here is when I became understandably horrified. Mice were probably nesting in behind the drawer units and had been pilfering dog food from the dog bowl for a long time. And Warehousing it.

Removing the last of the dry bits from the crack behind the drawer units was possible with a thin vacuum hose from the warehoused miscellany in our garage. But removing possible mice from a nest would be trickier. We secured the dog food. What the mice might do, we weren’t sure. But they definitely were not going to dine on Purina Pro Plan Focus Adult Small Breed Dry Dog Food.

With a repainted and thoroughly cleaned, tidier area, we hoped for the best.

And then on the eve of Easter, as the sun dropped, a mouse saw its opportunity— an open back door— and escaped. Mooch the Mouse had given up.

So there it was—Easter eve, the lavender and pink sky, the it’s-been-a- good-day- feeling. And Mooch the Mouse. Peace and Yikes! All together.

Meanwhile

….all jokes aside…

A dear friend’s husband has been moved from a psychiatric care facility to a hospital ICU because of breathing problems. They await testing for covid-19. Our hearts ache for those who are isolated alone, for those with hospitalized loved ones, for the vulnerable care givers.

From Psalm 121: 8. The Lord shall preserve thy going out and coming in from this time forth, and for evermore.